I may be in New York, but..

My HEART is in Haiti.

1 year later.. already???

Was awakened at 6:45AM by the chants from a nearby Protestant church.  I never wake up this early when it’s a day off from work and I’m usually annoyed to be woken up at this time, but today was different. It felt good to hear people in church at such an early time praying for the souls of hundreds of thousands people who perished in the earthquake a year from today. I hear churches throughout the city are over flowing with crowds of people, and will remain that way all through the day.

It doesn’t really feel like a day off from work, where I’m free to do whatever. It’s more of a sad day. I won’t be listening to my ipod today or getting up with friends. I’d much rather sit at home and read, reminisce, I don’t know… it’s not going to be a day full of chatter and smiles.

I drove around the city and it’s very quiet. Some roads are barricaded, full of people hand-in-hand, praying. I visited my cousin’s grave site this morning, and of course I wasn’t the only one visiting a loved one at the cemetery. I drove past many groups (members from organizations) walking towards the cemetery to visit those who they lost. Word is Bill Clinton is in town, and many journalist and news reporters are seen around the city.

Port-Au-Prince is awkwardly and solemnly quiet. And for once, there’s no traffic.

Crazy to think it was a year ago today.  While driving through Petion-ville, I was trying to remember what I was doing the morning of January 12, 2010. I remember it being a normal, busy day. A regular Tuesday. I remember glancing at my watch all day, I couldn’t wait to get off of work–I was super anxious to sign a lease for my new car.

After visiting the bank at 4:00pm, my aunt and I took a walk to her clinic. At 4:51pm, I was in the middle of texting my cousin when the earthquake started and lasted 36 seconds.  I don’t get too much into detail about the earthquake ‘cause honestly I don’t enjoy revisiting that day so much. But, from that day forward, Haiti hasn’t been the same for me. I moved back to NY temporarily and my cousin’s school was destroyed, so now he lives in Florida permanently. He was who I was closest to while living here.  So it’s a lot quieter nowadays.

I do thank the Lord often because I was chosen to live— as were my family and friends. I’m one of the few people who didn’t lose a family member and any close friends. Neither did I lose any of my students. A few of them were buried for days, but were pulled out of the rubble with minor injuries. I have a friend who was buried for two days, but miraculously survived.

I hear these horrible stories of people losing their entire family due to the earthquake, and others buried for days or even worst, weeks. There was a lot of suffering that day, and weeks after.

Haiti’s full of tent cities, instead of people moving out of the capital, it seems more people are moving into the capital, the traffic is sometimes unbearable, more people with amputations are seen in the streets, and pancaked buildings on each corner isn’t uncommon to the eye. I can’t say there’s been NO help at all from non profits, because some of the rubble has been removed, but I won’t hesitate to say that there’s not ENOUGH help.  Then again, what can I really say? With so much destruction, how much can be done in one year? I would like to think that after a new president is elected, we will see more of a clean-up process and more homes for people in tent cities.

2010 is a year that I’m happy is over, and many living in Haiti will agree. From the earthquake, to cholera, then manifestations over the 1^st round results for the presidential election…. It’s definitely a year all of us will remember, but not one we’ll miss.

Bra Straps and Hair Clips

Remember the little girl I wrote about over a year ago (wow time goes by sooo fast). I used to see her everyday, and I’d always give her a little something.. a banana, money, a hug, whatever.

Ever since the earthquake I haven’t seen her. I thought about her daily (hard not to because I drive by the area I would see her everyday) but always brushed off the thought because I didn’t want to think that she was killed by the earthquake like so many others. That’s my way of dealing with situations that hurt too much–avoid thinking about it.

Anyway–

Lo and behold, the other day I’m walking into my aunt’s clinic and I hear a girl screaming something  in Kreyol. I really didn’t think twice about it and continued walking, until I saw a tall skinny girl  behind me at the door of the clinic. She looked familiar but I couldn’t point out who it was. She has long stick legs, beautiful skin, and the cutest face. She was so hyper that she caught me off guard. She kept saying “remember me? remember me? I remember you!” in kreyol. It hit me–it was the little girl that I had been wondering about for so long. I was speechless, but then again she didn’t really give me time to talk because she was moving around so much. She was like, “I have something for you! I’ve been holding this for you for a long time!” She whips off her backpack and opens it, and started digging through her bag furiously but she can’t control the smile on her face.  Still–I hadn’t said anything.. I don’t really know what I was thinking. She pulled out 2 little white sparkly hair pins and put it in my hands. It was so cute! She started digging in her bag again, all the way to the bottom, while saying “Wait, Wait, I’ve been holding this for you too” and she pulls out two bra straps. I was thankful for my gifts. She kept repeating “m sonje ou, m sonje ou, m pa’t we ou pou long temps” (or something in that nature which basically says I miss u, I haven’t seen you in so long).

The thought that this little girl has been saving these two particular hair pins and bra straps for me is… I don’t really have the words for it. But it’s the most memorable gift I’ve ever received.

Manifestation–Well Deserved

 

 

The gun shots started Tuesday evening, immediately after we were notified that Michel Martelly made it in 3^rd place. Great position— but not good enough to make it to second round. At work on Tuesday my students were telling me, “Ms. Cauthen, if your uncle doesn’t make it into second round, this country is going to be upside down.” Well I was pretty confident he was going to make it. Last Sunday, voting day, there were marches for Michel Martelly, about 1,000 people came to his gate chanting his name—and no, unlike other candidates, he didn’t have to pay these crowds of people to do this—, and the feeling in the air was very positive. Well, Tuesday evening the results came in—Manigat 31.4%, Celestin 22.5%, and Martelly 21.8% of the votes. I thought the top 3 were going to the second round, only to find out the top 2 were moving forward. As soon as the results came in, my BBM went off “All schools closed tomorrow.” Well, it’s Thursday, still no businesses open. I’ve been in the house for only 2 days and feel like I’m going to lose my mind. Gun shots ringing, yelling, screaming.. all of that is normal to my ears now.

Someone text me today and said, “Martine, the people aren’t going to stop this manifestation until your uncle tells them to.” A part of me would love for them to stop so I could go back to work and move on w/ my semi-normal life, but then a part of me is happy they are protesting. I mean—they should! They have the right to. Their votes were not accounted for! This corrupted government needs to come to an end. For the people who have been living in tent cities for the past 11 months, only to learn that their votes don’t count, that the next president may still be under the rule of Preval, who has done absolutely nothing for this country? PLEASE! Burn tires, continue with the marches, do as you please. They need to be heard.

Michel  went on the radio yesterday, he didn’t say much but for the people to be careful. He basically said that the results given were false, thus putting this country in the situation we are experiencing now. Agreed, unc.

(these are pictures from my dummy friend who was curious to see what was going on outside, if you are smart, you’ll stay in the house!)

The March for a Better President, for a Better HAITI

Finally, I was one with everyone, from “blans” to the children and adults who roam the streets.
If you’ve kept up with the blog you’ll see I’ve mentioned quite a few times how the “upper class” separates themselves from the “lower class”. Even after something as traumatic as the earthquake, the people didn’t come together. There was still a bit of “segregation”…

Well Friday was a different story and (hands down!) the best time I’ve had in Haiti yet!

My uncle is running for President, and well.. of course that’s my uncle so whatever he decides to do I have his back! Earlier this week when he mentioned the 2 hour march on Friday from the Rex to Carfou.. no questions asked I was down and looked forward to the day. Of course when Friday came it didn’t go smooth and do to some minor issues I almost didn’t make it, but I wasn’t going to let anything stop me. I arrived just in time to hop in a convertible car with cousins and drive with the “top dropped” through down town Port-Au-Prince with people in the streets giving us high fives and yelling Micky’s name the whole way.

I didn’t know what to expect, but as we got to the Rex my friend Leila jumps out of the car turns to me and says, “Hold on to me the ENTIRE TIME” To everyone I look like the naive blan that everyone has to watch over and take care of since I’m fairly new to this country, but if that were the case I would have stayed my “naive blan” a$$ home!

Anyway, Leila hops out and starts running, I run after her. At that time there were only about 50 people, within 30 minutes that number multiplied by about 5.  The live band was directly behind me, I love live haitian music especially those special horns that look like they are made out of tin. People were dancing (jamaican style if u know what I mean) in the street, it was just wild, crazy-ness and happiness.

There was this little kid walking infront of us that kept pointing to Leila, when Leila started speaking creole he screamed. It was the cutest thing. He was shocked that someone who looks white speaks creole.

The crowd is screaming all types of chants, and I’m half mumbling half screaming with them, not too sure what I’m saying lol. But my favorite was Se pa lajan, se volonte! (It’s not for the money, it’s volunteer .. or something like that)

So about an hour and a half into the walk we came across a street flooded with dirty, brown water. Before I could think of which way to go, Leila pulls me to the right and we run off through a tent city where people are directing us where to go. Everything looks good until we come up to this point where there is a strong-rushing stream. The only way to get to the other side was if we jumped. I was nervous as all hell, but Leila quickly jumped over to the other side. Crowds of people started jumping to the other side. I had to think about it, and it took me about 5 seconds before I was like “to hell with it” and conquered my fears and jumped over the rushing stream, if those friendly people weren’t on the other side to catch me I would have fallen and the stream would have taken me to God Knows Where. So Leila and I are off.. and we veer back to the path, we look behind us to see what Michel will do. To our surprise, Michel and the crowd of hundreds are chanting, dancing, running, singing as they (with Michel) walk across through the mucky water (socks and sneakers on, some people only wearing sandles). It was CRAZY and the crowd went nuts when they saw Michel didn’t care about the yucky-ness of the water. The poor people walk through it daily without a problem, why can’t he?

So we get to Carfou and the crowd has multiplied–tripled–quadrupled. There were a few Ra-Ras in the crowd and the pleasant sound of Haitian music on stage. Richard Morse from RAM spoke, and Uncle Michel gave his speech. Although I didn’t understand a word of nothing, I was in complete bliss and I thank the Lord I didn’t let anything get in my way of enjoying this day.

To view more pics click here

“Ms. Cotton, you are the best teacher I’d never seen…”

Okay so maybe I have to help this kid a little more with his English Grammar, but I knew what he meant, and instead of correcting him (this time!) I just smiled.

Beach, Hurricane, Tornado…Earthquake

if you dont like feet—dont look at the pic above. lol

Between work, dealing with these crazy kids at school, and searching for a vehicle, I haven’t had time to breathe. People call me grandma out here cuz I’m in bed by 9 usually (exhausted by the end of the day), so I’m going to make this post short and sweet because it’s way past my bed time.

LOL at the last couple of weeks. So much has happened, I can’t even get into it. For example, I’ve been through every natural disaster and weather change possible. A hurricane passed through here a cpl weeks ago, it’s not as scary as you imagine, just sounds like a rain storm, and I enjoy rain storms. Today was crazy: From the sun out (and me doing the usual—complaining about how hot it is) to a drastic change, the sky suddenly got dark and the crazy crackle of thunder, followed by rain. Followed by.. a tornado. What in the world? A tornado isn’t really what anyone expected, but I’m not surprised due to the high winds and such.

The other night at about 11:00pm, I woke up freaked out because I thought I felt an earthquake. I popped my head up, felt the shaking and rumbling, convinced myself I was dreaming, I actually said “[explicit word that starts with an 'f' and ends with 'uck'] this!” grabbed the covers and went back to sleep. Come to find out the next day at school everyone is talking about  the earthquake the night before. SMH–yeah I need to be more alert about these things. I’m surprised that I was so chill during the ‘quake because at work many-a-time I have jumped in reaction to a random popping sound outside or the rumble of a large truck driving by. Our school is right by a main road, and if a truck is driving by you can feel the school shake. Good to know I’m not the only one  paranoid—

Today at about 11:00, a large truck drove by and shook the school. One of the teachers was certain it was an earthquake, jumped (literally—JUMPED) over a child’s head and ran out of the classroom yelling behind to his confused students “follow meee!” 3 kids followed him while the other 1o scrambled out in all directions. Just picture this, a teacher standing infront of the classroom in the middle of a lesson–to immediately jumping over a child’s head that’s sitting infront of him and dash outside the rear door. Honestly, when his students told me this story, I had jokes. I ran downstairs and cracked jokes till I cried. I mean, you gotta make the best out of these situations. Everyone  here is a lil shook up and we know that there could be another quake–bigger than the first. But thank the Lord that wasn’t the case today.

Anyway, since I landed I couldn’t wait to hit the beach. So last week I finally did. It’s nice to get away sometimes. Port-Au-Prince can be overwhelming–the tent cities, the homeless, the markets, the smells that randomly smack u in the face, the sadness. But despite all of that, it’s a beautiful country with a beautiful people, and I love being here. The best thing about Haiti are the beaches–the beautiful clear blue water. I love it. I ‘specially love this tan that I got.

Okay, time for bed…

My Chauffeur and His Hamburger

Today was an interesting day. Meetings at work, and car hunting. Right now since I don’t have my car, my family provides a “chauffeur” for me. No, I’m not some rich snobby chick. The chauffeur is driving the family-owned 1982 Toyota truck that has no AC. Whenever I tell my friends in the U.S that I have a chauffeur, they imagine a man in a black tux picking me up in a Mercedes. Well my friends, this is not the case. Anyhoo, I  have a new chauffeur this year, his name is Mira and he’s such a quirky, funny dude. I like him. Everyday when I get out from my job I wait outside the gate for Mira, he’s always on time.  It’s funny ‘cuz there’s this hill before you get to my job and you can always hear when he’s coming because of the old engine on that Toyota put puttin’ up the hill, and the first thing you see is Mira’s head with that huge white smile bouncing around in the car (the roads are so bumpy it’s hard to sit still). He has dark beautiful skin and a huge smile revealing all of his teeth with a clear view of his gums all of the time, I appreciate him expressing happiness 24/7. Most people in my family are not pleased with him because quirky in this country equals dumb, unconfident, and so on and so forth (upper class Haitians are very judgmental).  But his quirky-ness cracks me up and although our communication is very limited (language barrier) he comes off as a nice dude to me.

Now what’s messed up about this country is the different classes of people.  I’m a higher class than most—not because I’m educated, not because of the amount of money I have in my bank account ($50.00 lol), but simply because of my skin color. You’ll rarely (really never, but you never know) see a light skinned chauffer. Unfortunately, this is the way it is. It’s sad and beyond messed up. Anyway, I get the jist that Mira feels like he works for me, he goes the extra mile to roll down the windows for me when it’s hot, open the door, put down the visor when the sun is hitting my face. I want him to feel comfortable, so everytime he does something I’m like “SAVA MIRA!!” that means “IT’s FINE!” or I tell him “I have two hands too”. I know he works for my family, but I feel awkward having him do extra stuff, just pick me up and lemme roll down my own window when I’m hot lol.

So after taking me around today I was STARVING and asked him to take me to this spot Buchara. As I was getting out of the car, he smiled at me, and I asked “ou grangou?” (you hungry?) I knew he was but asked anyway, he said he was fine. I told him to come with me. (you gotta remember, these people are almost always hungry and will never turn down food. After he leaves us, he probably sleeps in a tent city where food is limited). I never seen Mira roll up the windows and hop out of the car so fast. So here I am in this restaurant with all of these Grimels (light skinned Haitians), Mira and I take a seat. “Kisa ou vle” (what do u want?), he looks at the menu and shrugs, so I say “mwen vle the hamburger” (I want.. and I dunno how to say hamburger in creole lol) so he smiles. The waitress comes and I order the hamburger with fries, Mira orders the same thing, she asks me what I want to drink, I say water, Mira pauses, and says water too, knowing damn well he wanted some juice. When she walks away I say, “ou vle juice huh? Ou pa vle de l’eau” (u want juice huh? You don’t want water!) I keep telling him to get juice, and he’s like “no ca va ca va”. Okay fine. We sit in silence, Obama is on CNN on the TV to our left, he asks me if I voted for Obama, I said yes but every president is a liar. He laughs.  Awkward silence for 30 minutes until our food comes.

If you know me, you know it takes me no more than 30 seconds to eat a hamburger and fries. I’m already half way into my burger and ate most of my fries, I look over to see Mira on his second fry. He’s savoring each bite. I’m  like “damn!” I enjoy eating my food fast, but I slow down. 25 minutes later, this dude hasn’t even eaten the burger yet. I can’t help it, my burger is screaming, “EAT MEEE”.  I finish the burger in 3 bites, I look over and Mira’s burger is gone! I was like, “daaaaang this dude was frontin’ the whole time! I knew nobody ate that slow!”  So I push my plate to the side and continue talking to friends on BBM, but I notice something fishy. Mira is over there doing something.

The poor thing had the burger on his lap, and everytime I looked away he’d quickly take a huge bite and swallow.  I felt so bad. Why is he doing this? Is It because he felt he had to finish his food the same time I did? Did he think that when I was done I was going to rush him to finish his food so he could drive me to the next destination? I immediately felt so bad for eating all of my food, I should have waited for him to finish his plate, but he’s such a slow eater! As I’m telling him to slow down and it’s okay, he’s looking at me then looks behind him at the waitress who is coming to pick up my plate, looks at me, looks at the oncoming waitress, looks at me, and to my surprise he quickly stuffs the rest of the burger into his mouth as the waitress asks me “ou fini madame?” I say yes, and through a mouth full of a hamburger Mira manages to get out “Mwen Fini, TOO!!” (im finished too!)

It was comical, cute, and sad all at the same time. I paid the bill, he said “thank you so much” I said “no problem” he said “no it is a problem” or I think that’s what he said in creole, but It was an awkward response so I just let it go.

Why’d I write about this? Who knows? To me, it’s a sad story, but I’ll always remember Mira and that burger at Buchara.

I’m back.. for quite a while

I told my job I was resigning 3 weeks ago. It was official, I was coming to Haiti and there was no turning back. I haaaad to return. Since I came to the US 1 week after the earthquake, I’ve felt like I needed to go to Haiti and finish what I started. I wanted to finish the school year teaching, and was so eager to see my students succeed. But hey, at least I have a second chance and I took it.

So Minnieme (my dog) and I landed in Port Au Prince Sunday afternoon. The flight was great, besides the woman sitting next to me who thought it was cool to tap me and say “look out the window!” everytime RIGHT before I feel asleep, I was pretty annoyed and thought “Who the heck does that?” After contemplating if I should smack her or smile, I smiled and we had a nice conversation. Her English was pretty bad, and my creole is horrible, so we stuck with English. It took like 45 minutes for us to have a regular 5 minute conversation, I had to finish her sentences and attempt to interpret what she said in creole, but she was super sweet and I enjoyed the convo. As I was falling asleep and the plane started landing she used her index finger to jab into my shoulder and told me to look outside, instead of yelling “WTF MAN!” I smiled and looked out the window with her (like i’ve never looked out of the window while a plane was landing, smh)

You know, I used to get that unexplainable, extraordinary feeling whenever I landed in Haiti. But this time it was like routine, I was like, “okay, i’m home.”

The mosquitos missed my American a$$ that’s for sure, they are TEARING me up!!! And everytime I swap them or shoo them away it scares my punk ass dog who immediately hides under the bed. The first two days Minnieme stayed under the bed. I felt so bad and contemplated sending her back, but now she’s back to her normal self, running around, acting crazy…so on so forth.

This week was full of meetings at my school, car hunting, wiping sweat from my face, drinking water, getting sick (as usual, im just a sickly person), wiping sweat from my face again, and relaxing with my beautiful aunty who is the best person in this world (i’ll refer to her as Mom from now on, since everyone down here calls her my mom anyway).

I’ve been driving around the city, reminiscing a whole lot, saw at a lot of buildings that are still in shambles on the ground (most likely bodies are still in the rubble deteriorating), pointed to areas where buildings once stood, ate at some great restaurants, and am enjoying a whole lotta picklies. lol.

I’ve been hanging with my friend Fred who is an engineer. He’s freaking intelligent and knows so much about Haiti. People ask me so many questions about Haiti when I’m in NY and I can’t answer them, so I’m going to make a video of Fred and put him on this blog so he can answer all of your questions like “Where did my money go when I sent that “text for Haiti”, and “Are NGO’s doing anything to really help?” and, “Are people still living in tent cities? What are the living conditions?”

Tonight was a great night. My cousins and I went to a soccer game, about an hour into the game the lights in the stadium went out (surprise! surprise!) and the rain was pouring, but the game went on. It was quite an experience and very enjoyable (it doesn’t take a lot for me to be amazed by the things that go on in this country). I watched in amazement as these soccer players continued to play in the dark, in the rain.

On our way out, this woman was dancing completely naked (no there was no music playing) by herself in the rain, pointing to her .. “stuff” that has never seen a waxing strip, clippers, scissors.. or whatever it may be.. (it was a jungle down there, not to be disgusting but.. i mean it was like.. in everyone’s face!). Oh and for all of you who have asked me about the Naked Man, yeah.. I saw him while I was eating at a chicken spot, he was just walking by, doin the same ol’.. walkin’ and swangin’.. smh..

To be continued…

My Return to Haiti

My trip to Haiti was great. I was extremely happy the entire time. I kept thinking to myself, “why’d I leave this place?”

It def wasn’t a pointless trip. I got to bond with family, see my aunty (who is like a mother to me), and visit the tent cities in Haiti which was a crazy experience.

It’s funny because no matter how disastrous a situation is, life must go on. Such as, I just lost my best friend a cpl weeks ago, but .. life still goes on.. and this earthquake destroyed 90% of PAP, but people are still moving on with life, walking over the rubble, laughing, chatting, my friends are still going out to parties, dancing, drinking. It’s just funny because I was watching CNN yesterday and they showed all this horrible mess. Yes, it’s devastating and there are a lot of messed up situations going on in Haiti, but they never show the beautifull-ness (is that a word? it is today) of the country. Anyway, we aren’t gonna get into that.

Anyway, it was a beautiful experience and I bonded with the woman that owns the foundation I worked with (Foundation Rose et Blanc). Running a non profit is absolutely no joke, and this woman works day and night, endless hours, trying to get tents, food, Crocks, Canned foods, and so forth to these families in tent cities.

That Friday and Saturday I watched (and helped) as she and her family put canned food, water, beans, and rice in bags and loaded them into a huge truck. The plan was to go to tent cities that Mother’s Day and distribute these goods to families.

The plan worked out and it was a great experience. As we pulled up in our cars into the tent cities, a swarm of people ran up to the cars and were peeking in. As we stepped out kids ran up to us like we were celebrities.  There were two children, about 6 years old, that held on to my legs and I could barely move because I was locked at the knees. They just looked up at me and were asking me my name, touching my hair, my skin, telling me I was pretty.

I felt like I was in heaven playing with these little kids, but on the other side of the tent city fights were already breaking out. Adults were pushing others out of line, cursing at friends, getting extremely violent.  You could see their struggle—They NEEDED to get to that package of food so they could feed their families for the week, because who knows when another truck full of loaded goods was going to reach their area? It could be next week, next month, never….

That Sunday was a very memorable sunday. We started out early (6:00am) and returned home at around 5:00pm. I was exhausted and sad, but blessed to know that in fact, a lot of Haitians do care about their people. And many are doing their best to help.

Want to find out more information on the foundation I was working with? Visit http://frebhaiti.org/ and donate .